around me I see my family plus my oldest niece. It's a good moment. They are actually all doing puzzles together, HB with Georgia and Brandon with Caleb. It's pretty cute, endearing, and just simply makes my heart feel full. These are the moments that fill me with happiness so the sorrow doesn't. It's been a good couple of days. I've been pretty spoiled having HB here with me. She and Caleb play fabulously together yet she's adult enough to hang out with me and read my cues. LOVE IT! We went to ride the train today to go play at the park but instead got off the train to visit the Witte Museum. It was alright...not the most exciting place and don't really care to go again BUT it was something different to do. Tonight HB and Brandon are gonna go "hang" at Barnes and Noble, give them an opportunity to visit and bond. :0) Then tomorrow is church, lunch with birthday party for Gab, then HB and I are gonna' go ice skating! Hope I don't hurt myself! :0)

Thank you everyone that has sent me kind words of sympathy and encouragement. I love reading them or hearing them and reminds me how many people love me and how many loved my mom too! She was fabulous. That's been my standard response lately...even at the service... when I just got tired of the ongoing "Your mom was so great. I am so sorry for your loss. I am going to miss......" I would simply reply "Yep, if she hadn't been so fabulous, I wouldn't miss her so much." or "Yep, if my mom wasn't so perfect, this wouldn't be so hard." .... It's truly how I feel.
I can't seem to go without saying....it's been a week! A week yesterday. My heart and mind are so torn. My heart feels like it just happened moments ago yet my mind thinks this has been the longest week ever! The service seems like it was forever ago. It's like part of me wants time to stop, it's like part of my world shattered at that moment and I can't believe time goes on. Part of me doesn't want time to go on....that every day that goes by and suddenly it's been a week, and then it will be a month....that when time comes between me and when it happened...that my mom is even further away. I don't know if that makes any sense at all. I just know that part of me screams "NO! It can't already be a week since my mom died. NO NO NO! Just STOP!" I want time to stop until I'm ready to deal with all of this...I haven't even completely absorbed it and it's been a week....ughhh.

Anyway...I'll go back to soaking up all that is around me. The beautiful family. The beautiful tranquility that they are so easily enjoying...I love this moment. I love being able to just sit back and watch it.
Thank you Lord for these moments that do show me that not only does time go on, but all is well and all will be well.

~robin

7 comments

1. Grateful for Grace on February 3, 2008 at 10:07 PM

   I totally, totally get how you feel, sis.
   It's surreal.
   
   I love, love, love you!!

    
2. Anonymous on February 4, 2008 at 10:16 PM

   I'm Thinking of you, girl...Please know that you are LOVED!!
   Paula

    
3. Grateful for Grace on February 10, 2008 at 10:31 PM

   Post!
   Post!
   Post!
   
   Seriously.
   
   love ya!

    
4. Chelsea on February 11, 2008 at 4:14 PM

   I agree with your sister!!

    
5. cajungal01 on February 11, 2008 at 9:41 PM

   well I guess it's good to know that I have at least 3 people that read these things! ;0)

    
6. Grateful for Grace on February 12, 2008 at 10:42 AM

   Ok, you've been home for over 12 hours now... where's your post??
   
   helllll-o?
   
   (love ya!)
   
   Oh, and I expect hair cut photos AND beach photos this week!! Ü

    
7. Grateful for Grace on February 12, 2008 at 10:43 AM

   maybe even zoo pics!